I’ve been single for the bulk of my adult life. I like to date guys who are like me, and I’m apparently kinda weird because I don’t meet them too often… and when I do it’s rare that I also want the sexy fun times with them. Why must you be so picky, hoo-ha?
C’est la vie, I’m quite satisfied with the single life. (Besides sexually, obviously.) Though I’ve really loved loving and living with my menfolk, too. They are very, very different lifestyles.
I’ve been having a funny feeling that I’m going to meet someone soon, and it’s leading me to wonder if I even really want to. I’ve been contemplating single versus couple life a lot lately…
Food
As a single you get to buy whatever you want without considering anyone else’s desires or judgments, and that’s friggin’ awesome. I had potato salad and a smoothie spritzer last night and it was delicious — I highly doubt my boyfriend would agree to that dinner.
My lettuce always goes bad. I know, I know, maybe eat more salad that doesn’t involve potatoes and mayo. But even when I eat super healthy-like, I still can’t get through it in time! How many salads can a person eat? Don’t even get me started on those amazing Trader Joe’s avocado bags that are somehow only like four bucks for six lil’ avocados that I can’t possibly consume in a few days. Food isn’t sold to feed one lady before it goes bad, it’s sold to feed groups of people.
When I cook something wildly impressive there’s not usually anyone there to tell me how good it is. When I cook something wildly impressive the leftovers are ALL MINE.
Points for couple-living
I Facebook way too often
I miss having a witness to all of the inane but entertaining things that happen every day. Do the people I went to high school with and old co-workers really care that there was a spider in my room but I lost it? Surprisingly, yes. That is a very universal fear. But still, I post way too much shit like that on Facebook because there’s no one there experiencing it with me. Must connect with someone about the scary spider!
Points for couple-living
I have complete control over Netflix and Hulu
Tired of a movie ten minutes into it? Veto’d. Want to watch two hours of Friday Night Lights? Totally doing it. The Game Changers documentary on Anna Wintour? Devoured. Millionth viewing of “I AM”? Done. Someone there to veg with? Nards.
Points for single-living.
I really like my alone time: I need it to recharge
I’m one of those people who respond to invites with, “I have plans, sorry,” when the plans are just chillin’ around the house with no one there. I really LOVE it. No matter how much I loved my exes, I felt kinda drained always hanging out with someone. Yet at the same time we had so much fun I had a hard time not always hanging out with them.
Points for single-living.
Freeeeeeeedom!
I can do whatever I want whenever I want to do it without checking in with anyone.
Points for single-living.
Bed
(Besides the aforementioned sex part, that’s clearly better in couple life.) No one fucks up my top sheet! Why do people do that? I don’t get it. It’s soft, and I don’t have to wash my comforter nearly as often. According to my flings in my early twenties, it would seem that ALL dudes do this. Just stop it. Respect the top sheet.
Points for single-living.
Cuddling
So comfy and glorious. I love it so much. Being a little spoon is quite possible the safest, coziest, most bestest thing in the entire world.
Points for couple-living
Snoring
I actually love this too. I can’t explain it. I find it very comforting.
Points for couple-living
Winner
Fuck it. Bring him on.
Meg Hartley 